I heard a story that just completely boggled my mind. I have being thinking about this a lot and trying to rationalise the situation but the more I do that, the more it does not make any sense. Writing is therapeutic for me so I knew I had to put it done in print somehow or else I´d go raving mad...sort of.
The guy, we will call him P. P came to Germany as a student about 20 years ago. After three years he dropped out and subsequently got into a contact marriage to obtain papers. After 5 years both parties went their seperate ways and met another woman, we will call her "german girlfriend" they both have a child and are still living together although they are not married.
About seven years ago he wanted his sister to come to Germany, so he "married " her to enable her get the permanent residency. Now said sister has gotten the permanent residency but they are not divorced. Now this whole theatre does not end here. P met and fell in love with a nigerian woman about 5 years ago. We will calll her "nigerian wife". They both got married in Nigeria, and since the marriage is not recognised in this country because he is still legally "married" to his sister, he could not figure out a way to bring her in legally so she came in via asylum annd lived incognito for three years. Nigerian wife gave birth about a year ago and and is still struggling to get a legalised stay in the country.
P has Nigerian wife living illegally with his children(babies) in the same city while he still goes home to German girlfriend and their child(teenager). Please note that P has since become a german citizen. German girlfriend and the child they have together know nothing about Nigerian wife although I suspect Nigerian wife is fully aware of the sitaution. I wonder how much longer she can take it. There are so many questions and so few answers. The questions I have been itching to ask P are:
-Why would you bring in Nigerian wife when you are still involved with German girlfriend?
-How do you manage your time between these two women; how do you sleep at night peacefully?
-Why could you deceive people so bad and yet you call yourself a christian?
14 comments:
Deep questions indeed.
My own question is, why not divorce his sister, after 7yrs her stay should be legal now abi?
I always shake my head at the lengths some of us go for pali. Oh well...
I think some guys just still love 2 have a taste of home...i guess...not sure
i don't even know what to say to this. Kai! Some people just like suffahead too much.
Okay, back to my pile of work and emails I have to catch up on...
Dang, is he for real? Those are mighty lengths of deception and wow!!! to marry brother for papers is too extreme man... P has got some serious guts!
These are great questions to ask, though I'm sure P's answers will make perfect sense to him. If you were to ask him, I'm sure he'd say something about how you don't understand what stress he was under and how tough times cause people to make some tough decisions.
Just hearing about situations like this make me LIVID. If P was a relative or family friend, I would not hesitate to give him a piece of my mind (regardless of his seniority. I would ask him about his choices and ask how he thinks his children and these other women feel, and how he feels about all the deceit!).
My uncle (who was married with two children at the time) left Nigeria for Europe (he's currently in Italy, and has been living there illegally for a long time). While he was there he managed to hook up with another Nigerian woman there and she became pregnant with his child. Apparently this woman returned to Nigeria and went to my grandmother to tell her what her son did to her.
Anyway sha, now his wife is with him in Italy. She managed to get her own papers legally so she can go back and forth as she pleases, while he can't. And his other child with another woman? I have no idea what has become of the woman or her child. The whole situation just makes me ill to think about.
@Myne Whitman
This was the exact question I asked myself as well.
@Harry
I´m guessing you are looking at it from another perpective
@Solomonsydelle
Suffahead no be small...People just enjoy digging up holes for themselves.
@Lil Miss Thang
The guy has got endless amount of courage...unbelievable.
@GNG
Girl, your uncle´s story is not an isolated one ..There are lots and lots of such tales especially among the Nigerian community living in mainland Europe ....it is too sad for words
If therapy or counseling may not be able to solve this one. First of all he has to figure out which one he wants to marry. His German girlfriend or Nigerian wife. Secondly, he needs to divorce his 'sister' as soon as she gets her papers. Then marry the woman he wants to stay with ... I propose marrying the naija girl because he has put her in a difficult situation. Selfish SOB.
@lucidlilith
Your solution is the most logical ofcourse ...but P has some seious control freak issues and also very jealous so it is easier said than done. These women have to be the ones to stand up for the themselves ..
Um... Like, I almost can't believe this story. He married his own
sister?!!! What a piece of work, eh?
All I can say is that he's not the only man out there playing these games. Some men are doing this, and not even for immigration purposes.
What in the world? The things that people do for paper ehn, like literally sell their souls to the devil. Smh.
@Viajera
I know it is almost unreal...but sadly these things do happen.
@Original Mgbeke
Sometimes when I hear stories like this ... I almost want to ask the culprits if they were so desperate that they will literally f*** up their lives in the process of getting paper...
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"...I suspect Nigerian wife is fully aware of the sitaution." i would rephrase your question "Why could you deceive people so bad...?" to a statement.
We consciously choose to be deceived when we fail to pay attention to the little things.
I agree with rethots comment. Plus, it's very likely that both women have a clue about each other. Sometimes I realize, women do not stay for love or because he is a good lay ( as most men would love to think), they stay because they have been put in an awkward position and frankly do not know how to get out. Some are just too scared to take that first step....
He married his sister? Even for papers that's a little sickening
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